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Black Friday: Part 2

(Picking up from Black Friday: Part 1)


The toy aisle’s in Kohl’s leave much to be desired. About 4 1/2 feet wide – barely enough room to move by yourself, let alone with a cart. After battling for a cart of her own near the entrance, Lydia took off running (in slippers!) to the back of the store and the toy department. (Next year I am bringing knee pads, elbow pads and an oxygen tank.)

Grabbing first two large Hot Wheels boxes and shoving them into the cart, Lydia was accosted by a woman who began berating her for having a cart in the toys section – while completely ignoring the 10 other carts surrounding her – including the one that she was shoving toys into while her husband/boyfriend/whatever held on to it and wheeled it behind her.

Candace had arrived at this point, and Lydia thankfully pawned the cart off on her and banished her to a safe section of the store. Stripping off her coat and pushing her purse into Candace’s arms, Lydia then stated she was “going back in” and dove back into the sea of people to emerge victorious.

Toy’s R Us:

Having been successful with their Disney Store mission, Mom and Abby made their way over to Toys R Us. With toys in hand, and while telling Lydia over the cell phone that they were on their way soon, they stood three people from being checked out when the manager approached them and informed them they had to go to the back of the line – as they were redoing how the lines were set up.

Toys R Us did not receive any Presley or Bushnell money on this Black Friday.


Alec, having failed in his mission, began wandering the store looking for Dad. After two trips around the store he spotted a buddy of his emerging from the back with a pallet full of 20″ flat screen tv’s. Alec hailed him and immediately grabbed one of the TV’s off the pallet and went to find Dad.

Dad at this point has found the Ice Hockey table and has it protruding from his own cart. Alec shoves his cart with the TV in it at Dad while stating he thinks he can get another and bolts back. Sure enough – the buddy hung around long enough for Alec to grab another TV and book it back to Dad.

Meanwhile – Dad has found a woman with a certain toy in her cart that was on Dad’s list. He asked the woman where she found it and she whispered the location – and that there was only one left.

Alec and Dad formed the Electronic Train at this point (Alec in front pushing one TV cart, pulling a second TV cart behind him while Dad pushed it and pulled his own Ice Hockey cart). They found the toy (score!). There were only two to begin with. Thank you Lord for nice people!!


Lydia and Candace (having finally loaded up their cart + all four arms with items) are standing in a store wide line. They are three from being checked out with no Mom in sight (which means no money in sight). A phone call confirms that Mom and Abby are at Target (where Abby is shopping out of people’s carts!) and Lydia and Candace are to walk the five feet from the front of the line to get into the back of the line all over again.


Aside from a few other small incidents, that was our Black Friday experience. We got home around 8:30 a.m. that morning and most people slept it off… I however did not sleep until 10p.m. that night.

Am I glad we did it? Yes. Black Friday is always a fun experience to reflect on the day after it happens and the stories are hilarious. This Black Friday was another success in the long run of things – we walked away a little tired, bruised and beat up – but the following laughter and the gratitude of our wallets is always a good thing.

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Black Friday: Part 1

People have heard the rumors, I’m sure. I’m sure the one or two people reading this post have experienced it in one way or another – but I’m going to introduce you to the Presley way of handling black Friday. First, the cast:

Mom – Head organizer of all. Handler of all newspaper ads, co-ordinater of schedules and rides and overall head boss.

Abby – Co-organizer. Sister of all sorts of deals and writer of lists.

Lydia – Resident sleepy-head, robot and chauffeur of Candace.

Candace – 14 year old drama queen – lead sprinter

Alec – 18 year old linebacker type – good for big stuff

Dad – Older and wiser linebacker type – lets Alec do the big stuff.

Scene 1.
Time: In the wee small hours of the morning sometime between 1am and 5am.

Candace and Lydia are standing outside of Kohl’s Department Store with instructions to grab two 7″ portable dvd players and numerous toys. Huge deals, must not fail. They are third in line and freezing their tushes off (Lydia especially because it’s laundry day and all she has to wear is a sweatshirt, a jean skirt (no socks) and slippers).

Mom and Abby are outside of the mall – having been told that the Disney Store will open at 4:30 a.m. and the mall police firmly stating that they will not open the mall doors until 5a.m.

Dad and Alec have pulled Wal-Mart duty. Need I say more (but at least they get the warm inside to wait in).

Kohl’s Department Store:

Candace and Lydia are third in line and waiting anxiously as the doors are unlocked. Candace mentions something about knowing she’s about to die in Kohl’s. The doors are unlocked. Lydia has mentioned to Candace that Candace may need to sprint for the players. Candace insists that power-walking will do.

Candace’s Mission: The DVD players
Lydia’s Mission: The Toys.

Candace makes a beeline for the DVD players, by-passing the cart and making it to the back left corner of the store with one other person along side of her – her old librarian at school (they only powerwalked about 3 seconds, then broke into a run as they saw the people behind them start to sprint). They are intercepted by another man who grabs the first of 50 dvd players off the stack. Candace then grabs two and spins around to see the mass descending upon her. The librarian hits her shoulder and says “Run”. And the horde descends.

A large, frizzy haired, blonde woman immediately ascertains that Candace is the weakest of her prey and thumps the top box held in Candace’s arms attempting to dislodge at least one of the players. It promptly drops to the floor and Candace promptly drops and sits on it. The frizzy haired woman is then chased away by a Kohl’s associate.

Meanwhile . . .

The Mall:

Mom and Abby are impatiently waiting outside. The mall cop has been called over to Sears to break up two skirmishes that have occurred and has been called over to Circuit City across the street to help break up several more then.

(By the way – how funny is it that people are getting into fights before they even get to the merchandise. I picture those fights as happening like this:

Shopper 1: I can’t wait to get 3 of those laptop computers.
Shopper 2: Uh, you better not take the last three because I promised my wife I’d bring home at least one.
Shopper 1: Well I’m in front of you moron, and I plan on taking as many as I can get my hands on!
Shopper 2: Oh yeah? Well.. if I knock you out of commission first then you won’t get any and I won’t get the doghouse!)


Alec and Dad have discovered that all of the merchandise is already out on the floor. However, it is wrapped tighter than duct tape on a tailpipe with plastic wrap. They are unable to make out any of the merchandise.

Alec’s Mission: 20″ flat screen TV’s.
Dad’s Mission: Ice Hockey Table

Alec stands in line for 45 minutes. There are two lines formed. One for the TV’s, one for another electronic device. Alec watches as a woman goes to the front of the line to ascertain which line is for which item, then comes back and takes her place in the line opposite Alec while informing her son that she verified it was the TV line. Alec almost cries.

“I’ve been standing in this line for 45 minutes thinking it was the TV line!” he says.
“Well, I don’t really want one so fine, take a spot in front of me”, the woman replied – and apparently not in a very kind manner. It was probably sarcasm, but Alec took her up on her offer.

The line begins to move. All six 20″ TV’s are immediately snatched up – three of them to the first family in the line. Bummer.

End of Part 1 of Black Friday.

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